Wedding Etiquette - Who Pays For What
Article 17 of 28: Your Complete Wedding Planner
Wedding Etiquette – Who Pays for What?
Traditional wedding etiquette says the bride's parents pay for most of the expenses. The groom's parents also pay for a few things, including the rehearsal dinner. But times have changed. Wedding expenses can run into the thousands, and the bride's parents may not be able to handle it alone. Here's how to decide who pays for what without leaving anyone broke.
Getting the Money
These days, paying for a wedding is a joint venture. Unless there's a rich relative in the picture, both sets of parents usually contribute what they can. The balance is then taken care of by the couple and other relatives. If you and your fiance can afford it, there's nothing wrong with paying for everything on your own.
You have to be realistic. You might want a fairytale wedding, but you have to consider the expenses. It's not fair to ask your parents or anyone else to go broke paying for your elaborate wedding. Traditional wedding etiquette aside, your parents aren't obligated to pay for anything. You should consider their contribution as a gift, and pay for the rest yourself.
What Can You Afford?
The most sensible option is to plan a wedding you can afford. You can reduce your cost without reducing your quality. If your family can pay for a huge wedding, then go ahead and plan the wedding of your dreams.
Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the following:
- The bride's wedding gown and veil.
- The wedding planner.
- The invitations, announcements, programs, and other printed items.
- Rent for the reception hall and ceremony site.
- Decorations, musicians, food, and drink.
- Photography and videos.
- The groom's wedding ring.
- Lodging for the bride's family members and bridesmaids that live out of town.
- Gifts for the wedding party.
Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the following:
- The bride's ring.
- The marriage license.
- The fee for the official that performs the ceremony.
- The rehearsal dinner.
- The groom's attire.
- Gifts for the groom's wedding party.
- The honeymoon and the bride's bouquet.
As you can see, that's a huge expense for the parents to handle. Some parents are financially able to pay for it all, but most are not. Don't pressure your parents or the groom's parents into paying for anything they can't afford.
The Wedding Party
Here's one area in which you catch a small break. You're not expected to pay for the wedding party. Everyone pays for their own attire and transportation. If there will be a bridal shower, the bridesmaids pay for it. Likewise, groomsmen pay for the bachelor party.
