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Sample Readings and Vows

We would like to credit and thank the Swedenborgian Church of San Francisco for this collection of readings. It is a beautiful place to be married, and welcomes all faith traditions.

 
The Creation of Man and Woman
(Genesis 1:26-28, 31a)
God said, "Let us make man in our own image, in the likeness of ourselves, and let them be masters of the fish of the sea, the birds of heaven, the cattle, all the wild beasts and all the reptiles that crawl upon the earth." God created man in the image of himself, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them. God blessed them, saying to them, "Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and conquer it. Be masters of the fish of the sea, the birds of heaven and all living animals on the earth." God saw all he had made, and indeed it was very good.
 
The Creation of Woman
(Genesis 2:18-24)
The Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helpmate." So from the soil the Lord God fashioned all the wild beasts and all the birds of the heaven. These he brought to the man to see what he would call them; each one was to bear the name the man would give it. The man gave names to all the cattle, all the birds of heaven and all the wild beats. But no helpmate suitable for man was found for him.

So the Lord God made the man fall into deep sleep. And while he slept, he took one of is ribs and enclosed it in flesh. The Lord God built the rib he had taken from the man into a woman, and brought her to the man. The man exclaimed: "This at last is bone from my bones, and flesh from my flesh! This is to be called woman, for this was taken from man." This is why a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife, and they become one body.
 
Prayer of the New Spouses
(Tobit 8:4-9)
Tobias rose up from the bed and said to Sarah, "Get up, my sister; you and I must pray and petition our Lord to win his grace and his protection." She stood up and they began praying for protection and this was how he began:
"You are blessed, O God of our fathers; blessed, too, is your name for ever and ever. Let the heavens bless you and all things you have made for evermore. It was you who created Adam, you who created Eve his wife to be his help and support; and from these two the human race was born. It was you who said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; let us make him a helpmate like himself.' And so I do not take my sister for any lustful motive; I do it in singleness of heart. Be kind enough to have pity on her and on me and bring us to old age together."
 
Love is as Strong as Death
(Song of Songs 2:8-10, 14, 16a; 8:6-7a)
A reading from the Song of Songs:
I hear my Beloved
See how he comes
leaping on the mountains,
bounding over the hills,
My Beloved is like a gazelle,
like a young stag.
See where he stands
behind our wall.
He looks in at the window,
he peers through the lattice.
My Beloved lifts up his voice,
he says to me,
"Come then, my love,
my lovely one, come.
My dove, hiding in the clefts of the rock,
in the coverts of the cliff,
show me your face,
let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet
and your fact is beautiful."
My beloved is mind and I am his.
He said to me:
Set me like a seal on your heart,
like a seal on your arm.
For love is strong as Death,
jealously relentless as Sheol.
The flash of it is a flash of fire,
a flame of the Lord himself.
Love no flood can quench,
no torrents drown.
 
A Really Good Wife and a Joyful Husband
(Sirach 26:1-4; 16-21)
A reading from the book of Sirach:
Happy the husband of a really good wife;
the number of his days will be doubled.
A perfect wife is the joy of the husband,
he will live out the years of his life in peace.
A good wife is the best of portions,
reserved for those who fear the Lord;
rich or poor, they will be glad of heart,
cheerful of face, whatever the season.
The grace of a wife will charm her husband,
her accomplishments will make him stronger.
A silent wife is a gift from the Lord,
no price can be put on a well-trained character.
A modest wife is a boon twice over,
a chaste character cannot be weighted on scales.
Like the sun rising over the mountains of the Lord
is the beauty of a good wife in a well-kept house.

The Love of Christ
(Romans 8:31b-35, 37-39)
With God on our side who can be against us? Since God did not spare his own Son, but gave him up to benefit us all, we may be certain, after such a gift, that he will not refuse anything he can give. Could anyone accuse those that God has chosen? When God acquits, could anyone condemn? Could Christ Jesus? No!! He not only died for us -- he rose from the dead, and there at God's right hand he stands and pleads for us. Nothing therefore can come between us and the love of Christ, even if we are troubled or worried, or being persecuted, or lacking food or clothes, or being threatened or even attacked. These are the trials through which we triumph, by the power of him who loved us. For I am certain of this; neither death nor life, no angel, no prince, nothing that exists, nothing still to come, not any power, or height or depth, nor any created thing can ever come between us and the love of God made visible in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The Greatest of These is Love
(1 Corinthians 12:31-13:8a)
Be ambitious for the higher gifts, and now I will show you a way that is better than any of them.

If I speak with human eloquence and that of angels as well, but speak without love, I am nothing more than a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy, knowing and understanding all of life's mysteries -- and if I have faith great enough to move mountains; but am without love, I am nothing.

If I give away to the needy all that I possess, and if I even suffer martyrdom, but am without love, I gain nothing.

This love of which I speak is always patient and kind.  It is never jealous.  It is never boastful or conceited.  It is never possessive or selfish.  It does not take offense and is not resentful.  It takes no pleasure in the failings of others, but rather delights only in the truth.

This love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading to its hope.  It will outlast anything.  It is, in fact, the one thing that still stands when all else has fallen away.  This love will not come to an end.
 
Live in Love and Thanksgiving
(Colossians 3:12-17)
A reading from the letter of Paul to the Colossians:
You are God's chosen race, his saints; he loves you, and you should be clothed in sincere compassion, in kindness and humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with one another; forgive each other as soon as a quarrel begins. The Lord as forgiven you; now you must do the same. Over all these clothes, to keep them together and complete them, put on love. And may the peace of Christ reign in your hearts, because it is for this that you were called together as parts of one body. Always be thankful.
Let the message of Christ, in all its richness, find a home with you. Teach each other, and advise each other, in all wisdom. With gratitude in your hearts sing psalms and hymns and inspired songs to God; and never say or do anything except in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

God is Love
(I John 4::7-12)
A reading from the first letter of John:
My dear people, let us love one another since love comes from God and everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God. Anyone who fails to love can never have known God, because God is love. God's love for us was revealed when God sent into the world his only Son so that we could have ave life through him; this is the love I mean: not our love for God, but God's love for us when he sent his Son to be the sacrifice that takes our sins away.
My dear people, since God has loved us so much, we too should love one another. No one has ever seen God; but as long as we love one another God will live in us and his love will be complete in us.

What God Has United, Man Must Not Divide
(Matthew 19:3-6)
A reading from the holy gospel according to Matthew:
Some Pharisees approached him, and to test him they said, "Is it against the Law for a Man to divorce his wife on any pretext whatever?" He answered, "Have you not read that the Creator from the beginning made them male and female and that he said, 'This is why a man must leave father and mother, and cling to his wife, and the two become one body?' They are no longer two, therefore, but one body. So then, what God has united, no human being may divide."

Love, the Greatest Commandment
(Matthew 22:35-40)
A reading from the holy gospel according to Matthew:
To disconcert him, one of them put a question, Master, which is the greatest commandment of the Law?
Jesus said, "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all you soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second resembles it: You must love your neighbor as yourself. One these two commandments hand the whole Law and the Prophets also."

Remain in My Love
(John 15:9-12)
A reading from the holy gospel according to John.
Jesus said to his disciples: "As the Father as loved me, so I have loved you. Remain in my love. If you keep my commandments you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my own joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you."

Love One Another as I have Loved You
(John 15: 12-16)
Jesus said to his disciples:
"This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. A man or woman can have no great love than to lay down one's own life for one's friends. You are my friends, if you do what I command you. I shall not call you servants any more, because a servant does not know his master's business; I call you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have learnt from my Father. You did not choose me, no, I chose you; and I commissioned you to go out and to bear fruit, fruit that will last; and then the Father will give you anything you ask him in my name."

 
 
From The Prophet on Marriage by Kahil Gibran
Then Almitra spoke again and said,
And what of Marriage, Master?
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and
together you shall be forever more.
You shall be together
when the white wings of death
scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together
even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces
in your togetherness,
and let the winds
of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another
but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup
but drink from one cup.
Give one another of your bread
but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together
and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
even as the strings of a lute
are alone though they quiver
with the same music.
Give your hearts,
but not into each other keeping.
For only the hand of Life
can contain your hearts.
And stand together,
yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple
stand apart,
and the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other's shadow.

An Apache song
Now you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be a shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no loneliness for you,
now there is no more loneliness.
Now you are two bodies,
but there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
to enter into your days together.
And may your days be good,
and long upon the earth.

I Love You by Larry S. Chengges
I love you
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
 
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
 
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
 
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good.
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
 
You have done it
Without a touch
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself,
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After All.

A Jewish Blessing
Blessed be he that cometh in the name of the Lord
We bless you out of the house of the Lord
Serve the Lord with gladness; come before Him with singing.
O God supremely blessed, supreme in might and glory, guide and bless this bridegroom and bride.
Unto Thee, O God and Father, we lift our souls ion praise. All creation declares Thy glory; through human beings, fashioned in Thine image, Thou hast revealed Thy majesty. Within his heart Thou hast implanted the ennobling influences of love and devotion. Thou Who art the Source of life and of joy, bless the covenant which this bridegroom and bride now seal in Thy name. Be with them in this sacred hour and in all the days to come. Amen.
Wine sharing:

(BA-RUCH AH-TAH AH-DO-NAI
EH-LO-HAY-NU MEH-LECH HAIO-LAM
BO-RAY PRI HA-GA-FEN.)
Blessed art Thou,
O Lord our God,
King of the Universe,
Creator of the Fruit of the vine.

From the Book of the Essences:
Blessed is the child of light
who is pure in heart,
for that person shall see God.
For as the heavenly Father has given you
his Holy Spirit,
and your earthly mother has given you
her holy body,
so shall you give love
to all your brothers and sisters.
And your true brothers and sisters are those
who do the will of your heavenly Father
and your earthly mother.
Let your love be as the Sun
which shines on all the creatures of the earth,
and does not favor one blade of grass
for another.
And this love shall flow as a fountain
from person to person,
and as it is spent
so shall it be replenished.
For love is eternal.
Love is stronger
than the currents of deep waters.
Love is stronger than death.
And if human beings have not love,
they build walls between themselves
And the creatures of the earth.
 
From Buddha's teaching: Unlimited Friendliness
This is what should be done by the man and woman who are wise, who seek the good, and who know the meaning of the place of peace.
Let them be fervent, upright, and sincere, without conceit of self, easily contented and joyous, free of cares; let them not be submerged by the things of the world; let them not take upon themselves the burden of worldly goods, let them be wise but not puffed up, and let them not desire great possessions even for their families.
May all beings be happy and at their ease. All beings, whether weak or strong - omitting none - in high, middle, or low realms of existence, small or great, visible or invisible, near or far way, born or to be born.
Even as a mother watches over and protects her only child, so with a boundless mind should one cherish all living beings, radiating friendliness over the entire world, above, below, and all around without limit. So let them cultivate a boundless good will toward the entire world, unlimited, free from ill-will or enmity.
Standing or walking, sitting or lying down, during all their waking hours, let them establish this mindfulness of good will, which is the highest state. Those who are perfect will never again know rebirth.

From The Prophet, by Kahil Gibran: On Friendship
Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind,
nor do you withhold the "ay."
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts,
all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his
absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love
but a net cast forth: and the only unprofitable is caught.
And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there by laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

From The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis
Love is a great thing, a great good in every way; it alone lightens what is heavy, and leads smoothly over all roughness. For it carries a burden without being burdened, and makes every bitter thing sweet and tasty. Love wants to be lifted up, not held back by anything low. Love wants to be free, and far from all worldly desires, so that its inner vision may not be dimmed and good fortune bind it or misfortune cast it down. Nothing is sweeter than love; nothing stronger, nothing higher, nothing wider; nothing happier, nothing fuller, nothing better in heaven and earth; for love is born of God...

Love keeps watch is never unaware, even when it sleeps; tired, it is never exhausted; hindered, it is never defeated; alarmed, it is never afraid; but like a living flame and burning torch it bursts upward and blazes forth...

Love is quick, sincere, dutiful, joyous, and pleasant; brave, patient, faithful, prudent, serene, and vigorous; and it never seeks itself. For whenever we seek ourselves, we fall away from love. Love is watchful, humble, and upgrade; not weak, or frivolous, or directed toward vain things; temperate, pure, steady, calm, and alert in all the senses. Love is devoted and thankful to God, always trusting and hoping in him, even when it doesn't taste his sweetness, for without pain no one can live in love.

Desiderata
Go placidly amid the clamor of life, and remember the peace to be found in silence.
Speak your truth quietly, listen to others, but avoid loud and aggressive people who vex the spirit.
Do not compare yourselves with others - there will always be greater and lesser persons and you may become vain and bitter.
Enjoy your achievements as well your plans.
Keep interest in your own careers. They are a real possession.
Be cautious in your affairs, for the world is full of trickery, but do not let this bind you to virtue in others - many strive for high ideals and life is full of heroism.
Be yourselves especially - do not feign affection and do not be cynical about love, for in the face of all greed and disenchantment, love is as perennial as grass.
Grow older, gracefully surrendering the things of yours when the time comes.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
Do not allow yourselves to become distressed by imaginings, many fears come out of fatigue and loneliness.
Have self-discipline but be gentle with yourselves.
You are the children of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars.
You have a right to be here, and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be and whatever your labors and aspirations.
In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your souls and be true to them.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is till a beautiful world.
Go honestly. Strive to be happy.


What is Marriage?  (Anonymous)
What is marriage?
Marriage is more than the exchange of rings
and the sharing of a household;
It is much more than just living together.
It is the desire to truly want to know and
understand another human being;
to feel and share in that person's
happiness, as well as their pain.
Marriage is to never feel alone;
but rather, to know that you always
have a friend; a partner in life that
you can laugh and cry with.
To know that you always have that
special someone to share your
innermost thoughts and fears,
and know that you will be heard.
Marriage is helping your partner to be
the absolute best that they can be,
while still being able to experience
your own need and goals.
Marriage is love;
true love that goes far beyond passion;
It is a love that you can reach for
in times of crisis as well as joy,
and know it will be there
to comfort and to share.

Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments . Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
Oh no! It is an ever fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken.
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come.
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom .
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Love Is by Susan Polis Schutz
Love is
being happy for the other person
when they are happy
being sad for the other person when they are sad
being together in good times
and being together in bad times
Love is the source of strength

Love is
being honest with yourself at all times
being honest with the other person at all times
telling, listening, respecting the truth
and never pretending
Love is the source of reality

Love is
an understanding that is so complete that
you feel as if you are a part of the other person
accepting the other person just the way they are
and not trying to change them to be something else
Love is the source of unity

Love is
the freedom to pursue your own desires
while sharing your experience with the other person
the growth of one individual along side of
and together with the growth of another individual
Love is the source of success

Love is
the excitement of planning things together
the excitement of doing things together
Love is the source of the future
Love is
the fury of the storm
the calm of the rainbow
Love is the source of passion

Love is
giving and taking in a daily situation
being patient with each other's needs and desires
Love is the source of sharing

Love is
knowing that the other person
will always be with you regardless of what happens
missing the other person when they are away
but remaining near in heart at al times
Love is the source of security

Love is
the source of life

Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where this is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled
as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

How Do I Love Thee? by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My Soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old grieves, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Marriage Joins Two People by Edmund O'Neill
Marriage is a commitment to life
to the best that two people can find
and bring out in each other.
It offers opportunities for sharing and growth
that no other human relationship can equal,
a joining that is promised for a lifetime.
Within the circle of it's love,
marriage encompasses all of life's most important relationships.
A wife and a husband are each other's best friend,
confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic.
There may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing,
and the love of the other
may resemble the tender caring of a parent for a child.
Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life.
Happiness is fuller; memories are fresher; commitment is stronger.
Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid.
It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences,
and new ways of expressing love through all seasons of life.
When two people pledge to love and care for each other in marriage
they create a spirit unique to themselves,
which binds them closer that any spoken or written words.
Marriage is a promise, a potential
made in the hearts of two people who love,
which takes a lifetime to fulfill.
 

I, ___________, take you, __________, to be my wife (husband). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.


I, _________, take you, __________, for my lawful wedded wife (husband), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death due us part. (or) for as long as we both shall live.


I, ______, take you, _______, to be my partner in life. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever.  I will trust you and honor you. I will love you faithfully through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy. Whatever may come, I will always be in there for you. As I have given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life, so help me God.


I, _________, take you, ________, to be my wife (husband), to be the companion of my heart and  to be the mother of my children.  I promise to love you and to be true to you in good times and in bad all the days of my life.


I, _________,  promise to be your husband (wife). I offer you my love and my support throughout our life together. I commit myself to years of growing and sharing as we unfold who we are.  I give myself as I am and will be.


I, ______, take you, ________,
to be my wife (husband),
secure in the knowledge that you will be
my constant friend,
my faithful partner in life,
and my one true love.
On this special day,
I affirm to you
in the presence of God and all our loved ones here today
my sacred promise to stay by your side as your wife
in sickness and in health,
in joy and in sorrow, as well as
through the good times and the bad.
I promise to love you without reservation,
comfort you in times of distress,
encourage you to achieve all your goals,
laugh with you and cry with you,
grow with you in mind and spirit,
always be open and honest with you,
and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

~~~~~~