When I say that I forgive you, understand this. I am not saying that
what you did was okay. It most certainly was not okay. It wasn't okay
then. It's not okay now. And it will never be okay. But I forgive you anyway.
When I say
I forgive you, I am not saying that you did not hurt me. You made me
cry. You made me feel vulnerable. You compromised my ability to trust.
My life has been forever changed by what you did to me. Make no
mistake about it. You hurt me. But I forgive you anyway.
When I say I forgive you, I am
not saying all is forgotten. It is not forgotten and I will likely
never forget. As years go by, the pain may lessen, but I will not
forget. But, still, I forgive you.
When I say I forgive you, I am not saying that I
trust you not to hurt me again. Depending on the degree to which I
heal, I may be able to trust you again sometime in the future. But I
do not trust you right now. I forgive you - but I do not trust you.
When I say I forgive you, I am not
saying you should get a free pass. I am saying that vengeance is not
mine to seek. Justice belongs to God and I trust that He will deal
with you in a manner that is right - for I believe that God is merciful -
but not at the expense of justice. In God, justice and mercy meet and I
believe that we will all experience both. Paul tells us in Romans
12:19:
19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
So - what am I saying?
When
I say I forgive you, I am saying that I choose not to hold onto
negative feelings toward you. I am saying that I will not wish bad
things for you. I will not live my life waiting for you to 'get
yours'. I forgive you - for MY sake, not yours. I forgive you because
I am called to be a child of God and when I hold onto anger and
feelings of revenge, I block God's ability to use me as a channel of
His love and goodness. I was created for God's purpose and more than
anything I want Him to be able to fulfill His Divine Purpose in me.
I
will pray that God will bless you with spiritual blessings that will
help you to understand how you hurt me and I will pray that your new
found understanding will lead you to repentance and a deeper
relationship with Your Creator.
Whatever relationship is carved
out for you and me in the future will be guided by the hand of God. It
will not be based on what I want or what you want, but will be rooted in God's mercy and justice and will serve His purpose.
I forgive you because this is what God asks of me.
Matthew 6:14
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
I pray for you because this is what God asks of me.
Luke 6:27-28
27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
I
forgive you because it's important to me to live what I profess to
believe. I forgive you because I want God to be happy with me. When I
pray to Him, I want Him to find my heart to be pure and sincere. I want
Him to know that I trust Him. I trust His justice - and I trust His
mercy. He is my Father and I will honor Him.
I forgive you.