I Forgive You
When I say that I forgive you, understand this. I am not saying that what you did was okay.  It most certainly was not okay.  It wasn't okay then.  It's not okay now.  And it will never be okay. But I forgive you anyway.

When I say I forgive you, I am not saying that you did not hurt me. You made me cry.  You made me feel vulnerable. You compromised my ability to trust. My life has been forever changed by what you did to me.  Make no mistake about it.  You hurt me.  But I forgive you anyway.

When I say I forgive you, I am not saying all is forgotten. It is not forgotten and I will likely never forget.  As years go by, the pain may lessen, but I will not forget.  But, still, I forgive you.

When I say I forgive you, I am not saying that I trust you not to hurt me again. Depending on the degree to which I heal, I may be able to trust you again sometime in the future.  But I do not trust you right now. I forgive you - but I do not trust you.

When I say I forgive you, I am not saying you should get a free pass. I am saying that vengeance is not mine to seek.  Justice belongs to God and I trust that He will deal with you in a manner that is right - for I believe that God is merciful - but not at the expense of justice. In God, justice and mercy meet and I believe that we will all experience both.  Paul tells us in Romans 12:19:

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

So - what am I saying?

When I say I forgive you, I am saying that I choose not to hold onto negative feelings toward you.  I am saying that I will not wish bad things for you.  I will not live my life waiting for you to 'get yours'. I forgive you - for MY sake, not yours.  I forgive you because I am called to be a child of God and when I hold onto anger and feelings of revenge, I block God's ability to use me as a channel of His love and goodness. I was created for God's purpose and more than anything I want Him to be able to fulfill His Divine Purpose in me.

I will pray that God will bless you with spiritual blessings that will help you to understand how you hurt me and I will pray that your new found understanding will lead you to repentance and a deeper relationship with Your Creator.

Whatever relationship is carved out for you and me in the future will be guided by the hand of God. It will not be based on what I want or what you want, but will be rooted in God's mercy and justice and will serve His purpose.

I forgive you because this is what God asks of me.

Matthew 6:14

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

I pray for you because this is what God asks of me.

Luke 6:27-28 

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

I forgive you because it's important to me to live what I profess to believe. I forgive you because I want God to be happy with me.  When I pray to Him, I want Him to find my heart to be pure and sincere. I want Him to know that I trust Him. I trust His justice - and I trust His mercy.  He is my Father and I will honor Him.

I forgive you.

5 / 20 comments
Jan 2, 2011  ( 5 comments )  
Cher Leadbeater (cherjl)
Should I be asking what I did ot are you just sharing your thoughts on forgiveness with me?
Dee Huber (dgh118)
LOL!!!!  I don't think that was directed at you.  I'm not really sure to whom it was directed.  I woke up yesterday - and there it was in my head begging to be written down.  I can't even think of anybody I haven't forgiven so maybe it wasn't for my personal benefit.  I actually keep thinking of Marlene and her bitterness toward Corney - which is really weird as I haven't seen or talked with her since Deanna's wedding. Then again, forgiveness is tough for most of us so maybe it's just something that needed to be written down.  I don't know! I'm just writing what I think the Spirit is directing me to write.  I guess at some point He'll show me what to do with it!!!
Cher Leadbeater (cherjl)
Well thank goodness, because whoever is mad at whoever was hurt pretty badly and I did not want to be on the other end of that.  Not that I haven't hurt people that bad in the past, but hopefully I have made amends for the most part and for those who I can't make amends to, I just try not to do those things anymore. I guess if God has other plans for me he will let me know.
Dee Huber (dgh118)
Well, I think the jist of it is, there is a lot of unforgiveness in our world.  USUALLY, forgiveness isn't too hard for me but there are times I struggle with it.  I like to sit back and observe people and I've come to realize that for some people forgiveness is extremely difficult and I've had to wonder why.  So I've had to examine my own moments when I've found it hard to forgive.

There have been times when I felt like if I forgave somebody that it was the same as saying "What you did was okay." And I couldn't forgive because what they did wasn't okay.  Or, by forgiving them, they might think I was over the hurt.  So, I felt like I couldn't forgive because I wasn't over the hurt. 

Scripture leaves no wiggle room concerning forgiveness.  We HAVE to forgive - no matter who the person is or what the offense is.  So - if we have a hard time with it, we better ask God to help us figure out why and help us through it.

Think of somebody in your past who you've had a hard time forgiving. Doesn't matter who or what the offense was.  Sometimes it's not big things that we have a hard time forgiving. Maybe there is someone who you still struggle to forgive.  Then stop and think "Why didn't (or don't) I want to forgive this person?  What was I afraid of?  How did I think they would feel if I forgave them?" 

I guess the biggest problem for me is not necessarily not forgiving someone who asks to be forgiven - but forgiving people who never acknowledge that they've hurt me and could care less whether I forgive them or not.  Because they've hurt me, it's hard for me to see them being happy. I STILL have to forgive those people. So - for me - I have to know that letting go of anger and praying for them, is NOT the same thing as 'letting them off the hook' for hurting me.  It's simply giving over the hurt to God and trusting that He will deal with it as He sees fit.  And it's not like I'm hoping He'll punish them or bring them low, I'm just trusting that He won't forget it and that they will have an opportunity to make amends - either in this life or the next. It's just easier for me to deal with when I KNOW they won't get off scot free!

Of course, I know that works both ways.  And the truth is, I don't want to get off scot free either.  If I've hurt somebody, I WANT the opportunity to make amends. And if I don't get the opportunity in this life, I trust that God will give me the opportunity in the next life.

Don't you know people who can't seem to forgive even the slightest infractions?  I'm not talking about adultery or abuse - but things like rudeness or angry words? Why do you think they won't forgive? What are they afraid of?

Cher Leadbeater (cherjl)
I wish I knew the answer to that.  Sometimes I have heard people say they have forgiven whoever and then they continually bring it up over and over again. It seems to me if you truly forgive someone you would eventually stop talking about it even if you don't forget it. I know for me when I forgave the man who shot Ronnie, I stopped looking for his name in the obituaries.  I will never forget what he did, but I just stopped letting it consume me.  Maybe people think that if they forgive something like rudeness or angry comments that the person will think it is ok and continue to do it, so they are afraid to forgive.  Sometimes I think it is harder to forgive the little things than the big ones
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