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June 9, 2014

A friend of mine prepares all natural herbal aromatic therapy sprays.  I've been using the one called "Unplugged" - it's supposed to help me be less dependent on my electronics.  I think it will take some time to work.  But in the meantime, I enjoy the smell and the experience.  I think I might also have to start using the one called "Boundaries" so my ex doesn't call three times a day.

 

 

 

May 27, 2014 by Wendy Pease

Today would have been our 14th anniversary.  Fondly, I remember the day - it was as close to perfect as a rose.  Even though the forecast called for rain, it was sunny;  although nervous, the minister set the stage for a warm and personal ceremony; the spring flowers, bubbles and favorite friends and relatives greeted us outside the church as newlyweds. I had found my Superman with a few less muscles - the perfect guy.  I was in love and expected until death do us part.  

 

In the first two years of marriage, we moved, had our first blessed child, lost my father, and lost both our jobs. At the time, I remembered my Mom's words of wisdom of marriage, "After 25 years of marriage, I understood true love.  We married, raised children, moved, traveled together and loved each other.  Life's experiences gave us a history together and that is true love."  During those rough years, I stayed in it for the long run and understood it to be the challenges of life.

 

After 7 years of marriage, life wasn't wrought with so many stresses. We had 2 normally developing, loving and active boys.  We both had interesting and fulfilling careers, we settled in our house and life should have been good.

 

I had a low grade depression and was becoming a "shell of myself" as my best friend said.

 

After may arguments and a session with our marriage counselor, my husband agreed to "let me go to China" to visit my Mom who was there for 6 months on a Fullbright scholarship. 

 

I felt great and had a wonderful time.  The only time I cried (actually sobbed) was when I called home and was berated for taking $200 out of our account and not being in touch for 48 hours (from China!)

 

At the top of the mountain at the first Daoist Temple, I had a POWERFUL!!! spiritual moment.  A radiating monk passed out prayer responses to sticks people picked as they said a prayer.  I prayed hard for my marriage. Written in Chinese, translated by my Chinese friend, my prayer response said to 'learn what I must in this lifetime or the lesson would be repeated in the next life'.

 

I still have this little piece of yellow paper hanging on my office bulletin board as a reminder to learn my lessons well in this life.

 

As soon as I returned home, I hired a therapist since my husband would no longer go to marriage counseling.  Through a long and insightful year, I learned to change my behavior and observe the dysfunction in my husband.  As he would not join me in my growth and acceptance of the lessons of this world, I had to recognize the thorns in the beautiful rose of my wedding day.  My eyes were closed when I thought I had found my perfect guy.

 

To this day, he tries to continue to verbally abuse, control and manipulate me.  Through support of my therapist, water pourer, minister, friends, family, acupuncturist, massage therapist, chiropractor, and the love of my children, I divorced. I learned to grow beyond this relationship.

 

In the 4 years since, I continue to learn about healthy relationships in this life. I cannot and will not repeat this lesson my next life.

 

 

 

 


Creation date: May 27, 2014 4:13 am     Last modified date: Jun 9, 2014 10:03 am   Last visit date: Jul 6, 2016 3:33 am     link & embed ?...
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