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Jack Bauer - 24 Facts
* Jack Bauer's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Jack Bauer.
* If everyone on 24 followed Jack's instructions, it would be called 12.
* If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
* Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
* There have been no terrorist attacks in the United States since Jack Bauer appeared on television.
* When someone asks Jack Bauer how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously on 24..."
* Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
* When Google doesn't know the answer, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
Theological Jack Bauer Facts by Roger on Sun 02 Apr 2006
You might have seen some Jack Bauer facts floating around online (such as these posted by Steve McCoy), but we've put together some other facts you might not know about Jack...
Jack Bauer believes in Divine Election because he understands what it means to control everything.
Jack Bauer is a Complimentarian- everyone submits to him.
Jack Bauer once questioned the authenticity of the Bible, so he brought the authors back to life and tortured them until he was convinced they were telling the truth.
Jesus will return when Jack Bauer dies. The problem is that he keeps coming back to life.
Jack Bauer knows whether the earth is “young” or “old,” but no one’s successfully tortured it out of him.
For Jack Bauer, confrontation is the only form of evangelism.
1/3 of the angels fell when Jack Bauer kicked them out of heaven for not telling him who they worked for.
Jack Bauer is proof of Intelligent Design.
Luckily, the Egyptians gave in after the 10th plague because number 11 was going to be Jack Bauer. (HT: Amy)
The 10 spies gave a bad report because they saw Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer is his own accountability partner and community.
Creation date: Apr 6, 2006 11:25pm Last modified date: Apr 6, 2006 11:25pm Last visit date: Apr 23, 2024 11:17am
2 / 1000 comments Displaying comment thread
Apr 8, 2006 ( 2 comments )
4/8/2006
10:35am
Bob Bertelli (bobbertelli)
Good ones!
4/8/2006
8:13pm
Kathy Carr (kathy)
My favorite ones are "there have been no terrorist attacks on the U.S. since Jack Bauer appeared on television!" and "24 would be called 12 if everyone followed Jack Bauer's instructions!"
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