Online dating has its fair share of bizarre stories, but nothing, nothing, prepared me for this one. I was actually excited about this Hinge match, let’s call him ‘Ben.’ He seemed sweet, his profile was charmingly goofy, and we’d had some genuinely good banter over text. We decided on a casual coffee date – low stakes, easy escape if it was a dud. Famous last words, right?

The Uninvited Guest

I arrived at the bustling coffee shop a few minutes early, grabbed a small table near the window, and tried to calm my pre-date jitters. My phone buzzed – a text from Ben saying he was outside. I stood up, smoothing down my shirt, and scanned the entrance. And there he was, walking in… with an older woman by his side. My first thought was, 'Oh, maybe he’s with a friend, and they’re just grabbing coffee separately.' My second thought, as they headed directly for me, was, 'Oh no. Oh, sweet mercy, no.'

It was his mom. Not just accompanying him to the door, but sitting down at our tiny two-person table. She gave me a beaming smile and a nod as Ben introduced us, 'This is my mom, Carol!' My brain short-circuited. I managed a weak 'Hi, Carol,' while internally screaming. After that particular debacle, I remember scrolling through dating apps later that night, wondering if there was a better way to connect. I even considered exploring more niche places for genuine connections, perhaps even something like datempire.com, where matches felt a bit more curated and, well, solo.

A Date for Three

The next thirty minutes were a blur of polite smiles and increasing absurdity. Carol, Ben’s mom, took the lead in the conversation, asking me about my job, my hobbies, and if I liked to cook. Ben mostly nodded along, occasionally interjecting with a fact about himself that Carol immediately clarified or expanded upon. I felt like I was being interviewed for a position as 'potential daughter-in-law,' not on a first date. At one point, Carol asked if I was a cat or dog person, and before I could answer, Ben chimed in, 'Mom, she’s a dog person, remember? She said it in her Hinge profile!' I forced a laugh, but inside, I was planning my escape route.

I managed to politely wrap things up after what felt like an eternity, but was probably only forty-five minutes. As I stood to leave, Carol gave me a warm hug and said, 'It was so lovely meeting you, dear! I hope to see you again soon!' I muttered something vague about being busy and made a dash for the door.

That night, I seriously questioned my entire approach to dating apps. Was this the new normal? Were "wing-moms" a thing now? While the memory still makes me cringe, it also makes for a pretty fantastic story. It was a clear reminder that sometimes, the most important filter you can have isn't on a dating profile, but in your own gut feeling when something just feels…off. And yes, Ben never got a second date. His mom, however, was quite sweet.