...And that's how
the fight started...
1: When I got home last night, my wife
demanded that I take her someplace
expensive...so, I took her to a gas
station...and that's how the fight
started...
2: I tried to talk my
wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a
jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would make her look better
at night than the cold cream. And that's how
the fight started...
3:
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left
my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
have to go home
and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your
shirt'. So I opened my
shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,
'That silver hair on your
chest is proof enough for me' and she processed
my Social Security
application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife
about my experience
at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should
have dropped your
pants. You might have gotten disability, too'. And
that's how the fight
started...
4: My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
alone at a
nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed,
'She's my
old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we
split up
those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My
God!'
says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that
long?'
And that's how the fight started...
5: I rear-ended a car
this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other
driver got out of h i s car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo
stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well
I couldn't believe
it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car,
looked up at me, and
shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him
and said, 'Well, then
which one are you?' And that's how the fight
started...
6: I took my
wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said,
'Aren't you
worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's how
the fight started...
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