Just like male porn revs guys’ engines in unhealthy ways, female porn is leading women astray. Let’s embrace equality and take a closer look at the study of “what women want,” exposing the desperate side of chick flicks and romance novels.
Each year hundreds of thousands of women whet their romantic appetites with enticing tales of perfect romance and fairy-tale endings. The romance parade starts as early as a parent is able to read to their little girl. Stories about princesses and the princes who rescue them from certain doom are read over and over and over again. While boys are busy building things and tearing them down again, or maybe reading a spy novel or horror story, little girls are dreaming of the perfect wedding and the dream house. As they mature, young women soon find more of an escape from reality in movies and novels. And when the Pottery Barn catalog arrives, they dream of how amazing their lives would be if only they had that couch and those throw pillows. The female psyche, how different it is from the males. And how desperate its distractions.
For decades the religious community has publicly condemned the pornographic industry as destructive to the sexual appetites of the men who indulge therein. Most people see that it creates a gap between the sexes. It nurtures the lie that women are something that they aren’t, and in the end it harms real loving and nurturing relationships. Those airbrushed images are anything but real, let alone attainable.
Yet female pornography has for decades been an accepted pastime, sliding under the radar of the religious right and instead being promoted as an acceptable distraction from the worries of life. But what exactly is female porn? Is there a definition for this newly discovered blight on society? For the answer to this question, we need look no further than the honorable Mr. Webster and his infamous dictionary of words. How we overlooked this definition for years upon years we do not know. But we are here today to uncover the truth. To shed light in the dark. And so without further ado here it is:
pornography – 3: the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction
Catch that? Emotional. We contend that the job of the chick flick, romance novel, and love song is to arouse a quick, intense emotional reaction. Can you feel it? We ask you, ladies, what else arouses a stronger emotion in you than that heart-fluttering chick flick? What else gets you to dream of the perfect man and pray to God that you will get one just like him?
Any attack on the traditional porn industry always includes the cry that it creates unrealistic expectations in men. No woman can be that hot and sexy all the time. It’s just not fair to women for their men to look at that. (Of course there are other deep concerns, but we went into that in the last chapter.) However, the very thing that women complain about in male porn is also created by female porn.
Check the pulse on any leading man from the biggest chick flicks and this is the rhythm his heart beats to: undying love, pure romance, sweet words, heroic rescues, persistent pursuit, tears, laughter, protection, flowers, gifts, and devotion. He never farts or burps. He’s never grumpy or wanting to be left alone.
He’s always focused on the female, exhausting all his energies on pleasing her. He is the ultimate creation of the self-centered female who wants the world to revolve around her and her alone. Just as male porn caters to a man’s physical desire to be pleased by his mate, so female porn offers the same self-absorbed emotional aphrodisiac.
Misery: The Ultimate Outcome of Female Pornocopia
The result of exposure to this kind of fairy tale is obvious, at least to us. When a single woman leaves a steamy chick flick only to return home alone to her cats and tub of ice cream, a part of her breaks—the heart part. And she feels more alone than ever.
The man was hers, but only for two and a half hours, and now, like every other man, he’s gone.
The same kind of letdown happens every time the newest home decor catalog comes to the house. She looks over all of the latest home fashions and then looks around her house. Suddenly a sense of “I’m just not good enough” overcomes her. And she senses an insatiable urge to purchase a new antiqued armoire and festive dish set.
Turning Desperate into Marriable
Romance is a decidedly desirable component of dating. Women love it. Guys know it, girls know it, the American people know it. Guys who are consistently adept at providing a chick-flick feel to their dates tend to have more success getting and keeping a girl interested. And no question, guys can take lessons from the movies for creative ideas. But when it comes down to it, because of an addiction to female porn, women can easily cast in their minds leading men with no flaws, shortcomings, or insecurities. The Good Book says to “guard our hearts” (Proverbs 4:23). If the number of romance novels and chick flicks you consume in a month exceeds the number of dates on your social calendar, you may be getting out of balance.
Plain and simple, the more you live in reality, understanding and accepting the good and the bad of the opposite sex, the less desperate and more Marriable you become.
(Editor's Note: This article was excerpted from the DiMarco's book Marriable.)